White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
