I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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