I hate all girls vehemently.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
