Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
