it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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