He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
