Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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