I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
