life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
