Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He felt like a one man threesome
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
