PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
