nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
