would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
