dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
