Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
