Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
