Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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