It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize