my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
