Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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