Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
