pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
