The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
