chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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