All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
