if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
