Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
