mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
