There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
