Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
