She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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