I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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