Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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