My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
