Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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