after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
