Your dad touched me again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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