But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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