Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
