This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
