Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
