in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
pop tarts are not kleenex
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
