That's when you crack a 10am beer
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
