We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
