I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
