shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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