I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
