Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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