If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
