why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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